Fallen Princesses

I found a series of photos online titled "Fallen Princessess". It's such an interesting and wonderful take on what could have happened to Disney princesses today. My favorite is this picture of Jasmine as a freedom fighter caught in the midst of middle east conflict.

Check out the rest of the pictures at http://www.jpgmag.com/stories/11918.

from Leaving Tangier by Tahar Ben Jelloun

"Once I leave, I'll have a profession!"
"Leave for where?"
"Anywhere, across the water, for example."
"Spain?"
"Yes. Spain, France - I already live there in my dreams."

I'm currently reading Leaving Tangier. It's about the desires of Moroccans to migrate to Spain. It's about them gazing across the ocean hoping for some light that will carry them away --to a world that is not gazing back. And when there is no more light, not from the sun or moon, or the cargo ships that sail away, all that is left are dreams.

Ipod Nano

My siblings and I got my dad an Ipod nano for his birthday/Father's day. A few weeks ago, I went to Best Buy and after 10 minutes and a swipe of a card, I already completed my purchase. That was quick, I thought. How easy it is to decide to buy something and in mere seconds, have it in your fingertips.

When I was a freshman in high school, we begged our parents for a computer. This was way back when dial-up internet was as good as it gets. My parents couldn't afford it, of course. They barely could afford new clothes for school. We waited months and months till they finally got their tax refund so they could afford to buy us a computer. I don't have any resentment or bitterness towards my parents nor childhood. It is only part of life. In fact, I know I have been better off than most. Still, that memory makes me sad sometimes thinking about how hard it had been for my parents and how easy it is now for us.

Giving Up by Ingrid Michaelson

What if we stop having a ball?
What if the paint chips from the wall?
What if there's always cups in the sink?
What if I'm not what you think I am?

What if I fall further than you?
What if you dream of somebody new?
What if I never let you win, chase you with a rolling pin?
Well what if I do?

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

I saw this picture recently of a hanging vegetable garden and thought that there's something very magical about it. It made me want to grow vegetables in my nonexistent backyard and make tomato basil salads.

Usually I avoid thinking of things I would like to have someday mainly because I'm scared of hoping for things that I probably won't ever get. I just don't want to jinx myself, I suppose. And part of me find it a little bit too silly wishing for things like a house and a family at my age.

Then, I realized that It's been so long since I've wanted anything. I know wanting too much is not good, I'm not sure about not wanting anything at all. I wanted a trip to Kenya months ago, but that dream slowly dissipated since I found out a flight alone cost $2000. After months of finally saving enough to be able to stay there for a week, the value of seeing the $3000 in my savings account is worth more to me than the price of another vacation. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for seeing exotic places and experiencing life. But right now, I'm leaning more on the side of pragmatism over idealism. If you don't mind, I'll appreciate it if you reserve your judgment for another who is a lot less well-traveled than me.

Here is a list of things that one day I want.

1. vegetable garden

2. a small Victorian house or a Spanish bungalow.

3. a library - not full of classic, pretentious, thick, intimidating books like War and Peace or Atlas Shrugged, but of warm books that teaches the value of truth and love, and how to be honest and how to love.
4. a wedding on a beach. At least the reception. A nice Catholic church wedding is a tradition I wouldn't mind keeping.

That's it for now. The rest I'll share when I'm feeling more courageous.

Things I miss

mango trees

cousins

summer nights

my grandmother's crochets.

Sunday pancakes

being fearless

going to school

live acoustic music

my old shihtzu

not having to blow-dry without my hair being frizzy

bonfires

long conversations
dragonflies

warm weather accompanied by pouring rain

my mom meeting me halfway when I walk home from school

falling in love with books

mass at the school chapel

being unaware of what other people think

Filipino Christmas star lanterns

black maryjanes with white lace socks

having butterflies in my stomach
composition notebooks
meriendas
my kindergarten nap time pillow
my brother's drawings
ferry rides